Eric Stoller's blog

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I am a silly man

13 comments



I decided to pop out of my self-imposed blogging hiatus to address a recent comment on my site. It seems that a long-time reader of my blog, Shouting Thomas, has taken a bit of umbrage with, well, I guess my entire site — text and graphics included. According to Shouting Thomas, I am a “very silly young man.”

In order to fully comprehend Shouting Thomas’ comment, I feel that it is necessary to re-write his words as translated by my inner monologue.

For your reference and convenience, I am including the original comment sans inner monologue translations…

Original comment, courtesy of Shouting Thomas:

Eric,

You are a very silly young man.

I suggest that you spend some time reading the blog Durham in Wonderland.

And, I’d suggest you get the hell out of humanities, and cease writing this garbage.

The real problem at the University of Illinois, as at all colleges and universities is the existence of women’s studies, black studies and gay studies departments that gin up the phony controversies and hysterias that cause young men like you to don their hair shirt.

Take may advice. I am a 1971 graduate of Illinois, now living in New York City and Woodstock , NY. This hair shirt game will get you absolutely nowhere in life. There is no reward for kissing ass in such a grand manner. You are an absolute fool. I played this idiot game when I was your age. You will live to regret being such a jackass.

Go into a technical course of study. Learn a good job skill. Leave this bullshit to the grim Marxists in the English department.

The real issue now is how to drive the nutjob Marxists out of the University of Illinois. You are stupid, young and naive, Eric. Get out of this idiot mindset before you ruin your life. The people whose asses you are kissing in the hope that they will nominate you for martyrdom… well they’d just as soon puree your balls in a blender.

and now, my inner monologue:

Eric,

You are a very silly young man. Wow, he knows that I have a sense of humor! Uh oh, I think he’s starting his comment off with an insult. I wonder if I should approve the comment…

I suggest that you spend some time reading the blog Durham in Wonderland. He calls me silly and then tells me to go read a blog…hmmm, interesting strategy. (Later on I Google the site, it’s not my cup of tea, but thanks anyway.)

And, I’d suggest you get the hell out of humanities, and cease writing this garbage. I guess he did not read my About page. I graduated with my masters degree in 2006… Once more into the breech dear friend…whoops I got distracted, wow, once again with the insults. I wonder what it feels like to drop such positive comments on a blog…?

The real problem at the University of Illinois, as at all colleges and universities is the existence of women’s studies, black studies and gay studies departments that gin up the phony controversies and hysterias that cause young men like you to don their hair shirt. Shouting Thomas, the klan just called, they want to renew your membership… By the way, thanks for letting me know that you are either white or have a serious amount of internalized oppression. I like that I keep getting called “young.” I hope I still get carded when I buy wine… Also, can someone please tell me what the heck a “hair shirt” is?

Take may advice. Ummm, no. I am a 1971 graduate of Illinois, now living in New York City and Woodstock , NY. Yes, this does give you extreme amounts of credibility and validity. This hair shirt game will get you absolutely nowhere in life. What the heck is a hair shirt? There is no reward for kissing ass in such a grand manner. I disagree, respectfully and youthfully… You are an absolute fool. If you are trying to be my friend, mentor, etc. try saying the opposite… I played this idiot game when I was your age. I am sorry that you changed your ways. Hopefully you will realize that working to end oppression is not a game nor is it a fools endeavor. You will live to regret being such a jackass. Hey! My mom reads this blog and I don’t think she would appreciate you calling her oldest such names. Oh and what’s the opposite of regret? Fulfillment, yep that’s a better descriptor for where I am at now. Thanks.

Go into a technical course of study. I am not very good with math. Besides, my brother is the technical wizard of my family. Learn a good job skill. Leave this bullshit to the grim Marxists in the English department. I happen to know some very happy Marxists! Oh, and isn’t it curious that a white man like yourself is dismissing the oppression of folks of color, women, lgbt folks. What a privilege!

The real issue now is how to drive the nutjob Marxists out of the University of Illinois. I wish the U of I would work towards eliminating nut job things like racist mascots. Oops, that just happened! You are stupid, young and naive, Eric. It’s the holy trifecta. I don’t feel stupid. I guess that’s really a subjective view though. I’m almost 30. When will I cease to be young and therefore non-credible? 60? 70? I guess I’m naive enough to realize that comments like this one ensure my continuing presence in the blogosphere. Get out of this idiot mindset before you ruin your life. The people whose asses you are kissing in the hope that they will nominate you for martyrdom… well they’d just as soon puree your balls in a blender. Wow, that’s getting painful. I really like my new immersion blender. It’s great for making soups.

Oh and I’m not writing for martyrdom, I’m writing for white folks like you. Cheers!

This concludes our foray into my inner monologue. I plan on making comment translation / inner monologuing a feature for the site.

  • http://vegankid.solidaritydesign.net vegankid

    hilarious! i’m curious what shouting thomas’ response would be to some older White men like James Loewen, Howard Zinn, Studs Terkel, Noam Chomsky, etc. I guess he’d dismiss them as grim Marxists. I can tell you that i’ve had the pleasure of hearing all of these guys speak and they all have great senses of humor. its pretty dry humor, but humor none the less. and considering their fields of study, their focuses, and the number of years they’ve been dealing with people like shouting thomas marginalizing their intelligence, its incredible they can still have a good laugh.

  • http://www.deviousdiva.com deviousdiva

    This made me laugh… a lot. What a great way to deal with people like this! I am looking forward to more.

  • http://antiessentialistspeaksup.wordpress.com Sylvia

    I really like my new immersion blender. It’s great for making soups.

    Hee, awesome one-liner! That’s hilarious all around.

    *relurks*

  • http://ericstoller.com/blog/ Eric Stoller

    vegankid, deviousdiva, and Sylvia – Thanks for commenting! I sent the link to Shouting Thomas. His email reply is almost better than his initial comment. I’m debating whether or not I should feature his email in my inner monologue series…I don’t want to engage in inner monologue favoritism ;)

    By the way, according to ST, a “hair shirt is an itchy shirt intentionally worn by penitents.”

  • http://deviousdiva.com deviousdiva

    I’d love to read the email! Just curious… because I’d like to know what other wisdoms Shouting Thomas might have to share with us “grim Marxists”. I’m still laughing at that one!

  • Patricia O’Brien

    right on (or is that left on) silly young man! I’m proud to know you!

  • James

    My oh my! Such animosity! I don’t particularly understand what the need for incessant references to the philosophy of Karl Marx is; I am confused, are you supposed to be offended by these references? I am not sure that you have ever mentioned your economic/social viewpoint through a particular thinker.

    By the way, the term “hair shirt” refers to a mortification technique practiced by Catholics (at least in the past) to punish ones self for mankind’s sins. Generally a person would wear a shirt made of very coarse hair (hence the term “hairshirt) that would rub and agitate the skin (this is in the same vein as self flagellation). In other words, he is calling you a cross carrier/bleeding heart/insert your favorite insult for the socially conscious. Here is a good link from Wikipedia discussing a particular type of hairshirt: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cilice

  • http://ericstoller.com/blog/ Eric Stoller

    Deviousdiva – I’m still having an internal debate with my inner monologue regarding posting the email…it’s a grim internal dialog.

    Patricia – I have very thankful for my friends and mentors who support me :-) I am proud to know you too!

    James – I love that you read my blog! I guess I need to get some moisturizer for all of the social justice chaffing that I will receive due to my silly views ;-)

  • http://antiorientalist.blogspot.com Cynical

    Great to see you can add a sense of humor to this person’s stupidity. It’s good not to take such inconsiderate comments too personally. I am dealing with similar sorts of people on my blog (although “hair shirts” have not been mentioned as of now).

  • http://ericstoller.com/blog/ Eric Stoller

    I hear that the hair shirt is making a comeback due to its durability and thermal retention ;-)

  • MRL

    that was pretty funny stoller.

  • http://www.sean-johnson.com sj

    your brother is the technical one? wow – i always considered you pretty savvy, but after all this time i discover i’ve befriended the stupid one. that’s upsetting.

  • http://ericstoller.com/blog/ Eric Stoller

    MRL – Wow! I didn’t even know you read my blog! Thanks for commenting :-)

    SJ – Shaun, my brother, works with lasers and aerial photography. He’s basically the MacGuyver of the family… Yes, I would be upset too ;-)

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